This week’s interview is with the master himself, Master Dom. He first appeared as Rhys’s mentor in Firm Hand, then again as playing Santa in Gentle Hand, but his own story was told in Slow Hand (make sure to read the previous interviews with Rhys and Raf!). It took him a while to be willing to share his story with me, and in this interview, that’s one of the things we discuss.
Master Ford, welcome. How would you like me to address you, as Master Ford or just Ford?
[smiles] Either is fine. The title Master is a specific honorific within the BDSM community, and I wouldn’t expect others from outside that community to use it or respect it.
But it’s a title you’re proud of.
Yes, very much so. The word proud always has that double connotation, as if being proud of something is bragging or rubbing it in other people’s faces, but that’s not what it is at all. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am in that aspect of my live, and I am proud of that. Being a good Dom is a heavy responsibility, and one I take extremely serious.
When did you know you wanted to be a Dom?
Hmm, good question. I think in my early twenties. My parents had always been open and honest about sex, something I deeply appreciate in hindsight. I was not an easy teenager, but we never had disagreements on that topic. I was quite active sexually, and a guy I hooked up with a few times was dabbling in bondage. It got me intrigued, and I managed to get an invite to a club as a visitor. What I saw there deeply resonated with me, even if I didn’t understand why at the time. I started as a sub, but the Dom who took me on recognized I was a switch. To his credit, he allowed me to experiment with my dominant side as well, and that’s when things fell into place.
You were known as a Dom who played hard. Not beginners’ stuff.
In a way, terms like that are meaningless to me. “Hard” is not a well-defined term. It can mean something completely different to me than to others. I think it’s accurate to say I like to push my subs’ limits and have them discover who they are and what they crave. Yes, I definitely have a sadistic side and I do enjoy pain play and impact play, but my deepest gratification was always when I found out what a sub truly needed and provided it to them.
One of the things I noticed when we talked as I was writing your story was that you have very few hard limits.
Yes. I don’t do scat play (play involving feces), modification play (where you alter a subs’ body, for example with tattoos or piercings), or blood play. The latter purely because I don’t have much experience with it, and it’s not something that interests me. It’s a very specific kink and we have a few Doms in the club who excel at it, but it really requires knowing what you’re doing. I don’t feel comfortable, so that’s a limit for me.
Does that mean that most things you do or did turn you on?
No. I’ve done plenty of things that for me, weren’t satisfying in a sexual aspect. They didn’t arouse me, so to speak. But if it was what the sub needed, that was enough gratification for me. It becomes a mental thing, and being a Dom is both. I’ve always tried to find a balance between my own needs and kinks and what a sub wanted or needed. Take golden showers, for example (piss play). It doesn’t turn me on to piss on somebody, but if that’s what cranks their handle, I don’t object to it. You just drink a shit ton of water before a scene and focus on your sub.
Is that part of your life over now that you have Thierry and Jathan?
For the most part, yes. I never thought I could live without it, but I don’t really miss it. My boys… They’re everything to me. The joy they bring me, the satisfaction I get from being their Daddy, that’s all I could wish for. I do still visit the club once a month or so, but it’s purely to train other Doms or do specific demonstrations. Jathan and Thierry are fully on board with it. Otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.
It’s interesting how much you’ve changed. You were the man who never wanted a commitment, who wanted to play hard, and now you’re all settled down.
[laughs] Trust me, no one was more surprised about that than me, and I’m well aware of the irony. I mean, I never even liked daddy kink. Not for me, anyway. And then I found myself with two boys, and everything changed. My boys evoke feelings in me I never even knew I was capable of. I’ve changed, but it’s been a wonderful change. Those two are all I’ll ever need.
You have a very different dynamic with both of them.
Yes. Thierry has fully embraced his identity as a little, but also as a sub who loves to serve. He’s a happy homebody who thrives on serving be and in return, being taken care of. My daddy time with him as little is truly special, and I look forward to it every day. He, Raf, and Saxton have become good friends, and it’s beautiful to see those three play together. We’ve even had sleepovers, and Thierry was in heaven.
Jathan is a whole different story, of course. He’s my stubborn middle, my perfect brat. He challenges me every day, but god, it’s so worth it. Thierry gives his submission and his love easily, but with Jathan, I have to work for it. Sure, he’s grown milder, but submitting still doesn’t come easy for him, even though he craves it. We have a pretty strict schedule with him, and that works well for both of us. And I take time every day to spend with him, without Thierry. Jathan has the urge to always let Thierry come first, so he needs that one-on-one attention from me.
Does he still do scenes with you as well where he dominates you?
God, yes. Rhys still mentors him in that aspect, and that works very well. Jathan respects Rhys, and he’s learned a lot already. He can run scenes now, though Rhys is always there to supervise. Jathan and I both feel that for the foreseeable future, that’s better. My boy still has traumas that occasionally pop up, and sometimes unexpected. We can’t have that happen in a scene where I’d be helpless, so for that reason alone, Rhys’s presence gives both of us peace of mind. And when we do a scene, Cornell spends time with Thierry, and they really get along as well, so that’s been a wonderful bonus. Cornell is a very easy person to talk to and he’s seen a lot over the years, so Thierry feels very comfortable asking him questions or telling him things. I love that he’s found someone he trusts enough to open up to.
It sounds like you’re happy.
You have no idea. Seriously, I didn’t know that a man could be this deeply happy and content. My vow is to do whatever I need to to love and protect these two for as long as I live. They’re the center of my universe.